You Live Only Once

                                                   "Life, My Alma Mater"
“Gather ye rosebuds while ye may, old time is still a flying and this same flower that
smiles today, tomorrow will be dying."
----------------------------------------------------------------Robert Herrick

An avid golf player, David, kept his golf clubs aside when his children started going to
school saying, “ I am not able to concentrate on golf. I will have to work hard to afford
my children a good education”. David started working at a pace at which eventually
resulted in him being away from his wife and children for long periods.

Six years later when his wife reminded him of his golf clubs, which she chanced upon
while cleaning the house, he said “Not yet, I will have to see them through high school”.
He used to secretly look longingly at his golf clubs and wished he could play. He also
wished he could take out time to spend with his children and wife. He never quite
understood what was stopping him. He only knew he had to achieve more and the higher
he rose in the echelons of his company, the more of a stranger he became to his family.

He worked even more passionately thinking that one day the time will come, when he
could play golf with an “easy” heart. After finishing college, his children requested him
to revive his golf-playing sessions .He said: “Just one more assignment and then I will be
free!” Of course, he never ever got round to that “last” assignment. In the due course of
time, his children got married and the day of his retirement finally came. All his family
members had gathered on the occasion.

He said “Now, I am going to spend more time with my children and grandchildren and
tomorrow, I am going to play golf”. His children and wife were thrilled beyond words
and cleaned up his golf clubs. The next morning, the whole family was gathered in
David’s room. David was still sleeping with a smile on his face- was it a smile of
contentment? The elders understood that smile was an achievement of 3 decades and was
a result his finding peace at last. The youngest child shook David and said ”Dad, Wake
up today you have to play Golf”. David’s hand lay limp and lifeless on the bed. He would
never play golf again.

During my childhood days, I was happy with the small things that Dad bought us. I used
to get a wee bit jealous of my rich cousins’ possessions but never had sleepless nights in
the desire to possess them. After I graduated, my perception changed totally. Suddenly
things that never captivated me during my childhood days enthralled me now. I stopped
playing football suddenly and it was almost as if I forgot how to write. I didn’t feel like
playing the flute any longer. I was drawn into the world of cutthroat competition where to
be ahead of competition, I had to work really hard. Welcome to the world of the work
pressure!

I was engaged in a relentless pursuit of what at that time to be seemed the things in life
that would bring me happiness. In the tedium of the daily grind of life, I forgot much like
David did, that happiness came in small packets, that happiness lay in family, in good
relations, in enjoying life’s smaller triumphs and tribulations. God lies in the details. I
have been promising myself for the last 5 yrs that I would start playing soon. Whenever I
watched anybody playing, I recalled the days when I was free of responsibilities and free
to enjoy the joys the world had to offer. Everyday, my promise goes unfulfilled.

Walnace, my good friend taught me a good lesson when I went to his home last fortnight.
He had been refusing many overseas offers to be able to be with his parents. He
explained to me thus ”All these years, I never gave much thought to my parents, they
have sacrificed a lot to bring us up. After my elder brother married, I was with my
parents alone and for the first time realized that they needed my care and love more than
any other time, now that they are retired. They don’t need goodies and material goods
from me, they need just my love and affection. I bought a flat and I just yesterday bought
some cane furniture for my Dad since he likes it a lot. I am selecting bedcovers for my
parents’ beds and I am getting the bed intricately designed with carvings. I am getting a
lot of joy doing these things and when I discuss with my friends about what color would
please my Mom and Dad, I realize the care with which they use to shop for us in our
childhood days. I like saying prayers together with them and eating dinner with them
daily. I sometimes strum the guitar. Even if they don’t understand a bit of what I strum,
they never fail to say “Bravo! Walnace, you strum well”. I like that unselfish motivation.
These are small things, but mean much to us a family. These moments prove that Love is
all that is needed in this life. Money is important, but it is not the only thing in life ”.

Everyone in this world has responsibilities, trials and tribulations of their own. Some
make priorities well ahead for they know what they want in life and they know what will
bring them happiness. Walnace learnt the lesson and came to a stage of acceptance. He
did not clamor for the “big” things in life. He was contended with what he had and learnt
early about what gave him happiness and went for it. I too miss my family having lived
far from them for about 9 years now. I ring up my parents every 2 days and I tell myself
that after this “last“ assignment, I will go and stay with my parents, but I was like David.
I never learnt the lessons that Walnace learnt.

My friend Walnace has come a full circle, from being a child to an adult and back to
understanding the simple joys that a child enjoys, while I am now unlearning and
relearning all that I have learnt in life.